A Heat-Induced Mind

Aaaahhhh what?! How has it only been 24 hours?! (Well, officially now it’s been more than that, but we are now in the zone of free WiFi so we’re all just going to pretend) I think that maybe Time just suspends in the Indian heat and humidity until you realize you just filled your day with a weeks-worth of activity. Or maybe I was just used to kickin’ it back with my good buddy, Snuggie, and my even better bud, Netflix, so this is a mad change in my daily routine.

That being said, I would take this day in Mumbai over any day binging a whole season of Friday Night Lights. Sorry Netflix, you’ve been replaced.

Where should I even begin? Hmm. Here, I’ll just grant you all access to my thoughts from the first 24 hours starting from landing at the airport.

Warning: These thoughts may not make too much conscious sense, but forgive me because of the heat and full day of traveling, etc.  I will make more cohesive paragraphs and use real English in the next posts. Promise.

Welcome to my heat-melted brain!

  • Oh mah gah! This is actually real.
  • Mmkay, Yup. People weren’t lying when they said it was humid here.
  • Wow. Nope. Definitely not lying.
  • Are driving lanes just not a thing?
  • And are red lights really just more “guidelines”?
  • Oh. And rickshaws are not bikes and are actually called “autos”. LEARNING.
  • DOGS.  Oh so many dogs!
  • Let’s take them all home?! No Sarah no. Too much paperwork, no.
  • Lesson 1: Pickled vegetables are not to be eaten on their own #spicy
  • “Ooh Iarn! let’s make a vid-” Nope, Body says ‘zzzzzzz’
  • Is this The Lady and The Tramp meets The Hunchback of Notre Dame??
  • Oh nope it’s just more dogs howlin’ at some church bells.
  • Are we allowed to eat this or no….?
  • Is this modest enough? No? Shoulders. Right.
  • Whistling Woods: Newhouse but with Mad Heat (and apparently sometimes leopards and cobras)
  • Confusion.
  • All of the beautiful people are involved in Indian cinema, my lord.
  • Can we just do ALL OF THE THINGS?!?!
  • Oh I guess I’m signed up for an Indian film fest now?
  • Confusion.
  • Time to experience some real Indian Food! “I’ll take the Veg. Pizza, please.”
  • Bollywood dance workshop? Okay sure lezz do eeet!
  • Wait how does the body even move like that..?
  • Okay, okay.  Got it. These hips don’t lie! Pshh.
  • Oh gah. So. Damn. Hot.
  • Shower is needed.
  • Lemme just down this whole water bottle here, thank you.
  • One day I’ll find you, Mango, one day.
  • Ooh I should edit that vid–sleeeep, zzz, zzz…
  • Where am I? Is it morning? No?! It’s only 6:30pm?! Alright, alright, alright.
  • Hot. Humid.
  • Is this Disney World? This can’t be real life.
  • New plan for future: Create an Auto in Mumbai Roller Coaster
  • Make millions.
  • “Stefan is here with us today to talk about activities the whole family can enjoy in Mumbai!”
  • –“Thx Seth, Mumbai’s hottest new club is Club 69. It’s got your Cupids, Miss India’s, padded walls, …”
  • Heh. Stefan. Heh.
  • Mark is the man. Everybody knows Mark.
  • Casually talking to the most influential casting director on the continent? Mmkay.
  • Oh. And this guy owns a production company? Mmkay.
  • Keep it together, Sarah.
  • Time to show off those Bollywood dance moves!
  • Hah, we couldn’t look more American.
  • But no one knows us, #YOLO
  • I shouldn’t say #YOLO
  • I feel like we’re on Man vs. Food
  • You’re supposed to eat and swallow the whole thing?
  • Blegh. Am I eating incense or maybe an Indian hotel room?
  • Actually, yaknow, this is not too shabby.
  • Mmm yes, blurry pictures in the dark.
  • Water never felt so good oh mah lawwwdy.
  • Mmkay! Maybe I’ll upload the videos I took and edi–sleeeeeppp, zzz, zzz…

WOOO that was fun wasn’t it?! I hope that made some sense.  And if it didn’t, I guess now we both feel the same way.  The trip has just begun and I’m incredibly pumped to keep filling up all of these days with things that don’t make sense. #YOLO.

Ellen, I see your Selfie and raise you one Mumbai.


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